Step Aside, I’m the One Becoming the Magical Girl

“Only men can fall into femininity—so really, it’s the manliest thing there is.” “Don’t tell me you magical girls are still running Whale Hearts. What are you, boomers?” Mutated monsters? Slay. Cultists? Slay. Corrupted magical girls? Slay. Eldritch gods crashing into Earth? Slay. Redefining what it means to be a magical girl. I’m f*cking killing everything. Mercy in my heart. Thunder in my hand. Welcome to Jiang Ci’s Magical Girl Daily Routine: 6:30 AM — Wake up & train 7:30 AM — Shower & breakfast 8:00 AM — Head out. Kill monsters. 12:00 PM — Cook lunch & power nap 2:00 PM — Kill more monsters 5:30 PM — Dinner 7:00 PM — Slaughter continues Enemy: “Can we even win?” Jiang Ci: “Win your damn mom. You’re dead either way.”